Sophia: Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy! And so are you, in anything backless.
Sophia: When I turn my hearing-aid up to ten, I can hear a canary break wind in Lauderdale!
Sophia: Cabbage she serves me, in ten minutes I could be sky writing!
Blanche: Is it okay to sleep with a man on the first date?
Sophia: It's a sin. I don't care what anyone says, it's a sin. But I'd go back to eating fish on Fridays if his holiness gave that one the green light.
Rose: Sooo, who's the luckiest girl in the history of the world!
Sophia: Well, it wasn't your mother.
Sophia: Blanche, a terrible thing has happened to you. But when life does something like this, there are a couple of things you got to remember. You got your health, right?
Blanche: Yeah.
Sophia: You can still walk, can't you?
Blanche: That's true.
Sophia: Great, go get me a glass of water.
Blanche: Dorothy, do you think I'm dressed okay for the dog races?
Sophia: That depends – are you competing?
Sophia: Rose, I found my lucky handkerchief.
Rose: Where was it?
Sophia: It was in my bra.Rose: What was it doing in your BRA?!
Sophia: It was blowing my breasts, Rose!
Blanche: Listen, did you hear that sound?
Sophia: Yeah, and as long as I'm in my own bed I'll do what I want.
Sophia: Look, Rose, God doesn't make mistakes. We were all put on this planet for a purpose. Blanche, you're here to work in a museum, so that art can be appreciated by humanity. Dorothy, you're here as a substitute teacher to educate our youth. And Rose, you're here because the rhythm method was very popular in the twenties.
Rose: Sophia, is that a Captain Jack's Seafood Shandee uniform you're wearing?
Sophia: No, Rose. I'm off to discover the Straits of Magellan. Yo ho!
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