Thursday, February 13, 2014

Happy V-D!

Hello Kittens!  Another Valentine's Day is upon us.

For all you gents who have a Valentine, good luck trying to show you care about this day.

For all you ladies who have a Valentines, I hope you get chocolates, flowers and/or a card. At the very least, a card. Props if your gent puts a scratch off lotto ticket in it.

Alas, if you are alone this day, no prob. It's a stupid day anyway, one that makes all the florists jack up their prices. Of course the cost of Edible Arrangements remains the same (there is no fluctuation from their normal cost of arms, legs and torsos for their crack laced fruit arrangements.)

In honor of this special day, I wanted to put something on the Good Book along with a short poem to wish everyone a fantastic VD.  There were just so many, I couldn't decide, so I opted to compile the list below.  ENJOY - I sure did!

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm using my hand
But I'm thinking of you.

Roses are red
Violets are black
Why is your chest
As flat as your back?

Roses are red
Like blood from Ebola
Through plague-filled canals
I'll be your gondola.

Roses are red
violets are blue
I fell in love
and it isn't with you.

Roses are red
Emeralds are green
Can't afford vodka
So I'll drink Listerine

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm in your fridge
You're out of milk

Roses are red
Their stems are real thorny
When I think of you
I get super horny.

(This one is my favorite, it's so romantic.)

And lastly,

Yo teeth got some shine
Ima take you to dine
Bitch you is fine
You is at least a 9
Ima make you a sign
Dat says "Bitch, Please Be Mine"
Bitch you is fine
Them stars are aligned
So I think it is time
Bitch, be my valentine