Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Leap Day? More like Eat Day!

Fantastic start to my Leap Day. 

Had my first ever mammogram.  It was quick, it was painless, and Windsong Radiology had bowls of Hershey Kisses everywhere I turned.  Fantastico!  Best of all -everything AOK, I don't have to go back for five years.  Holla boo boo honey child.

Next up, a delicious breakfast sandwich with sausage, egg and cheese on a COSTANZO'S roll.  Delicioso! I ate 3/4 of it before I threw in the proverbial towel. 

Fast forward an hour when a meeting broke and trays and trays of Paula's Donuts were leftover.  Booyaa!  I took a 1/2 and ate about 2/3.  Superb! (I'd throw in another foreign word here but I used them all up on my explanations above.) 

Moments later Buffalo Bills Linebacker Arthur Moats comes through the building to thank staff for our support of the United Way.  I stopped him for a photo and he was happy to oblidge.  Best of all? No dinosaurs busted out of the foliage behind us to snap at our heads!

Here's where the day goes downhill. 

I made some toast in the cafeteria (only $0.65 for two huge slices of rye) and I got fancy (lazy) and put them in the long way, causing them to get stuck in the rolly toaster, thereby almost burning down the joint. 

Next up, I learn Davey Jones died.  I was just listening to those crazy Monkees the other day.  66?  That's too young to go.  Unless you're a musician I don't like (Henry Rollins, I'm talking to you.)

I soothe my soul with some Hershey's Bliss (since I didn't have any Kisses at the Windsong, I have SOME rules about candy!)  I have a handful of animal crackers.  Nothing will ease the pain of this loss.

Fast forward to 3 p.m. where I get the shakes becuase the only protein I've gotten the entire day was in the breakfast sandwich I ate 7 hours earlier which was followed only by complex carbohydrates.  I ate 1/2 of a protein brownie.  I felt better.  I realized I had many hours before the end of this day which started at 6:10 a.m. (I usually sleep until 6:55.)  I kept it together - you know for the kids (or because crying mid-day at your desk cause you went to bed too late the night before is kind of frowned upon.)

I have to go now.  I'm sure somewhere out there is something I haven't eaten yet (piece of pizza fallen on the floor, half eaten bologna sandwich in a trash can.)

Monday, February 13, 2012

I love you, Ina!!!!

Ina, you know I love you - but you can't deny this is true. Each time you cook you tell us how easy things are. But you know this is what you're really thinking!!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Yay Buffalo News

The comics are a serious business in my house. The wee ones were fighting over it. J won.

RIP Whitney

I just watched Whitney Houston's version of the Star Spangled Banner from Super Bowl XXV. Not only did I get chills watching it, I became so engrossed it was like I was I'm a different world. Jessica asked me 'mommy, can I have this muffin,' and I said 'yeah yeah.' Duncan busts over and asks me something, I mumble a yes and go back to my video. The kid could have asked me 'could I take your car out for a joyride!' and I'd be all 'sure thing and take your sister' cause I gotta see Whitney in her glory days, the best there is!! Good times people. Except for that whole war and the Bills losing the game by 1 point thing...

Side note - the New Kids on the Block were the Halftime Performers at this Super Bowl. How come I didn't remember that??

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Thursday, February 09, 2012

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Actual conversation from this morning.

Me: You have 2 kids, 4 dogs and a job - how can you watch all these movies?
Heather: Actually I have 11 dogs right now.
Me: That shit ain't right.

A Bunch of Skinny Kids, With Glasses

Well here I am - ready to start blogging and I got no topics, NO TOPICS (say this like Jerry, when he was with NO SLEEP after spending the night at Kramer's apartment.) Someone nicely suggested I write about riding my bike without glasses. Well that's just crazy talk. I can barely make it to the bathroom without my glasses. But my kid can! Wanna know how I know that? Because just yesterday the call came in from Paul at 7:45 a.m. "Can you bring Jessica's glasses to her at school?" Of course I can, I'm the mother! But the real question is, how the hell did she get all the way to school without the things?

Here is me every morning. Alarm goes off. Snooze. Goes off again. Snooze. I can't REALLY tell what time it is because I don't have my glasses on, so I squint and try and see the last number. If it's an 8 or 9, I'm hosed, that means time is running out. I cannot tell you the number of times I've gotten up, reached for my glasses and had them fall either on the ground or in one of the drawers which I keep open in my dresser, because they won't close, because clothes are hanging out. But that's niether here nor there. The main issue is that they are no longer WHERE I LEFT THEM. Well normal people just reach down because they can partially see what's going on. Not THIS girl. This girl is like "oh fudge..." Here's where the fun starts. I call whichever person is the closest.

"Oh Duncan (or Jessica or Paul) - can you help me get my glasses."

I can just tell they are giving me the "look" which says "how lazy are you woman - get your own glasses," but then I explain they are MIA. Well they of course THEY can find them right away. Stupid kids and Paul with their stupid good eyesight!

But I digress - and the question remains. How did Jessica get up, get dressed, brush her hair, brush her teeth, pack her bag and get out the door without her glasses? When I dropped the glasses off to her at school I told that silly goose that if I didn't have my glasses I'd end up wearing daddy's pants to work. She just looked at me like I farted and went off to play with her friends.

So I ask you. Did glasses become cool when I wasn't looking? Because for me, they totally ruin all my trips to water parks.

Side note: when I dropped off the glasses there were about 20 kids being watched by 3 ladies who were sitting at a cafeteria table drinking coffee. I think I'm overpaying for those services. End Note.