Thursday, February 09, 2012

A Bunch of Skinny Kids, With Glasses

Well here I am - ready to start blogging and I got no topics, NO TOPICS (say this like Jerry, when he was with NO SLEEP after spending the night at Kramer's apartment.) Someone nicely suggested I write about riding my bike without glasses. Well that's just crazy talk. I can barely make it to the bathroom without my glasses. But my kid can! Wanna know how I know that? Because just yesterday the call came in from Paul at 7:45 a.m. "Can you bring Jessica's glasses to her at school?" Of course I can, I'm the mother! But the real question is, how the hell did she get all the way to school without the things?

Here is me every morning. Alarm goes off. Snooze. Goes off again. Snooze. I can't REALLY tell what time it is because I don't have my glasses on, so I squint and try and see the last number. If it's an 8 or 9, I'm hosed, that means time is running out. I cannot tell you the number of times I've gotten up, reached for my glasses and had them fall either on the ground or in one of the drawers which I keep open in my dresser, because they won't close, because clothes are hanging out. But that's niether here nor there. The main issue is that they are no longer WHERE I LEFT THEM. Well normal people just reach down because they can partially see what's going on. Not THIS girl. This girl is like "oh fudge..." Here's where the fun starts. I call whichever person is the closest.

"Oh Duncan (or Jessica or Paul) - can you help me get my glasses."

I can just tell they are giving me the "look" which says "how lazy are you woman - get your own glasses," but then I explain they are MIA. Well they of course THEY can find them right away. Stupid kids and Paul with their stupid good eyesight!

But I digress - and the question remains. How did Jessica get up, get dressed, brush her hair, brush her teeth, pack her bag and get out the door without her glasses? When I dropped the glasses off to her at school I told that silly goose that if I didn't have my glasses I'd end up wearing daddy's pants to work. She just looked at me like I farted and went off to play with her friends.

So I ask you. Did glasses become cool when I wasn't looking? Because for me, they totally ruin all my trips to water parks.

Side note: when I dropped off the glasses there were about 20 kids being watched by 3 ladies who were sitting at a cafeteria table drinking coffee. I think I'm overpaying for those services. End Note.

1 comment:

Erica said...

Thanks for the good laugh!
My kids haven't had the need for glasses yet , but shawn and I both wear them (me+contacts). I think glasses became cool again with the invention of thinner lens instead of using the bottom of coke bottles.