Thursday, July 19, 2012

Same Old Song and Dance

I'm always looking for a new and exciting way to send my family's holiday greeting.  Thankfully I have this card as inspiration for this year.

Now does anyone have a ram I can borrow? You might not get it back, although Caramel's teeth aren't as sharp as this, um, WTF is that, a cougar?

Also, I'm gonna need someone about my age so we can duplicate this card, with the two moms.  Little help?

Actual Conversation

The following is an actual conversation which took place yesterday:

My boss: Lori, I'm gonna give you $100.
Me: OMG, that's so nice of you!
My boss: Well I'm gonna need it back, this is is how I want it, 2 - 20s, 4 - 10s and 4 - 5's.
Me:  (No response, except the wrinkling of my face in a WTF look.)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

JB and LORI, a Parting of the Ways

I'm over Bieber. 

Remember when I had the fever, and I was all "baby, baby, baby, oh, like baby, baby, baby, no!" And then I was all "When I was 13, I had my first love."  Then I was even "I will never say never." 

And then that little bastard had to show his ass.

Acting all cocky on the Today Show hijacking Matt Lauer's Twitter page.

Tweeting while he had the little handicapped girl on his lap, of course he acted like he wasn't once he saw the cameras rolling but we know the truth JB!

The final injustice was him calling 911 to report he was being "followed" by 5 cars, when he had gotten pulled over for driving his CHROME car like a maniac on the streets of LA.  From what I've heard of LA, they have enough troubles with people driving normal, they don't need your 19-year old punk ass driving your CHROME car like a total toolbag. People have families you know! 

So it's official. I'm over Bieber.  You know it's official when I say this.  I stopped following him on Twitter. 

BELIEVE this Biebs!