Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Still Pissing Me Off

So yesterday I went to Horton's for my delicious medium coffee, but today I made the signal at Harlem and Clinton, so i went to McDonalds to try things out again with the cafe ole. Please! I pull up and order my choice very clearly.

"Can I have a medium coffee with two creams, and can you mix it?"

"1.25 please drive around"

Blah blah blah, drive drive drive. I pull up to the 2nd window just as I see the worker putting sugar in a cup, then putting two creams in, then hear her yelling to someone "the creamer machine is broken." She then fills the cup with coffee, lids it and hands it to me.

Me: "Did you put sugar in that?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Oh, I just wanted two creams."

Her: No response, just this evil looking glare and big ass grunt. Them: "Ashley, she didn't want sugar in this!" to the woman who took the order.

Me: "Dude, WTF, how effin hard is this???" (In my head of course)

So she goes to fill up my new cup, and she's trying to rush (cause there was no one behind me) so she's all breaking the creamers open and cream is flying everywhere. All on the counter, all on my cup, all on her hands. I'm beginning to get the feeling that the McDonald's staff do NOT like the idea of preparing people's coffee. I finally got the coffee, cream dripping off the cup of course, and drove off.

A side note to this story, the man in front of me got coffee too and his was handed to him with the creamer on top of it, much like mine from last week. I think they need to re-evaluate this whole coffee mixing sign campaign, it's obvious that the staff are revolting!

In other news, the saying of the day is "It's my hot body, I'll do what I wanna do." You can say it about anything really, it doesn't just have to be if someone warns you that McDonald's hash browns are bad for you. They could be telling you to get a report in on time. Just say "it's my hot body, I'll do what I wanna do!"

Amazing Race is on tonight and the Linz Family is still going strong, thank god, because I have a feeling that I will soon be out of the Survivor Pool which I organized at work. Imagine the injustice - I organize the thing and I think I'm going to be the first one knocked out. Too bad there isn't a fee I could skim off the top. Next year I'm going to charge $5.50, with 50 cents as the administrative fee!!! After all, it's my hot body, I can do what I wanna do!

See how easy that was??????

Friday, October 14, 2005

Ronald & You!

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Well McDonald's has certainly pissed me off this week.

I used to enjoy going there for a delicious cup of Small coffee, which totals only $1.07, which is very cheap compared to Tim Horton's, where they rake you over the coals for the small (it's $1.27 at the Harlem/Clinton store!) Anyway, McDonalds recently delighted me when they put up a sign that said "We'll Mix It For You." Delightful! They'll MIX my coffee for me, so I don't have to wait until work to start drinking. I remember one time I said to them "can you mix it?" and the worker told me "we aren't allowed." I have heard of some odd statements, but "we aren't allowed?" Why, OSHA standards??? You people dip things in hot grease all day and you can't pour a creamer into coffee? I digress. They are going to do it for me now. Yeah!

I pull into the drive-thru on Wednesday, maneuver my way around the semi-truck which is delivering an order in the middle of the drive-thru lane, and place my order excitedly. Small coffee, two creams. The man says "small coffee with cream?" I say "Yes!"

I drive around, and hand him $1.07 made up entirely of quarters, dimes and pennies. It's a tight week people.

I pull to the second window. Chipper (as I call her) opens the window and is holding my small coffee. Sitting on TOP of my coffee are three creamers. She hands it out the window to me along with the little shitty stirer and I sit there like "uhh....uhhh, I thought you mix it."

"You have to ask," says Chipper.

Well what the fuck are you talking about I have to ask? There is a big M-EFFIN sign up right by the drive thru that says "We Mix It For You." If there was a sign that says "Made Fresh Daily," do I have to request that they make my salad fresh, or risk getting one they made four days ago. WTF I say - WTF!!!!

It doesn't end there. My friend Kelly Snyder informs me she got a coffee there last week and ordered creamer and they said "would you like it mixed?" and she said "Why yes!" She got to her destination and sat down to a nice cup of BLACK COFFEE.

Now I'm not as mad at them as I am at Starbucks, cause it's not like they charge me four bucks for the coffee, but come on people - how hard is it to put creamer in a cup and pour coffee over it? I don't even ask for sugar!!!!!

In other news - I missed almost all of my TeeVee shows this week, with the exception of Lost. No Vegas. No Desperate Housewives. No Survivor. No Alias. And only half of the Amazing Race - the later half, so I could see the Aiello Family go home and cry because I was stuck with that effin Gaghan family for another week. Those kids need to get kicked and I'm just the girl to do it.

That's it for today everyone. If any restaurants pissed you off recently, let me know!

Thursday, October 13, 2005


Visit today - it's fun!

Employee #1: How do you spell "who"?

Employee #2: How do you think it should be spelled? Sound it out.

Employee #1: H-O-W?

Employee #2: Does that sound right to you? Aren't you like, 30 years old? And you can't spell "who"?

Employee #1: You're the one who told me to sound it out, bitch.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Poor Sienna and Poor Jude

Well well well, it seems our favorite lovebirds, Jude Law and Sienna Miller, are tabloid fodder yet again. This time, sources say that the couple have decided to call it quits. See article here.

I do believe my favorite quote in the article to be

'Adds a snitch to the London Daily Mail, "Jude is devastated and depressed; he is not in a good state right now."'

Well maybe Jude should have thought of that before his penis traveled into the nether regions of his former nanny. Is anyone else with me when I say "I don't feel sorry for him." He made his bed and he should lie in it.

I do think this quote is kinda funny

"According to the paper, Law is currently holed up in "a secret location in Europe" (the News of the World pinpoints his position to southern Spain)"

What is he, the freaking Taliban? He ain't Osama Bid Ladin people - we don't need to "pinpoint his position."

Can I just say bitch please....

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

George-ism for the Day

I had to do it....

Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing on Iraq.

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching asthe President sits, head in hands.

Finally, President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"