Tuesday, October 29, 2013

All The Giraffe Photos

So you think you know why all the Giraffe pics are popping up on Facebook?  You were wrong. They are popping up because of the Great Giraffe Incident of 2013, which happened just weeks ago!

The conversation below (which sums up the incident) took place in my parent's driveway when I was dropping Dad off after our excursion to see the Polar Bears.

Me: Mom, I am never going back to the zoo. I saw a giraffe (whisper) having sex with another giraffe.
Mom: Shut up, you did not.
Me: I did, ask Dad.
Mom: Fran, is that true?
Dad: Oh yeah, he was really pounding into her.

I never thought my car could go from 0 to 50 so fast in such a short space.  I had to get OUT of there.  There are a few things you don't want to see with your dad standing next to you, and a few things you don't want to talk about with both mom and dad. It all happened on that terrible day. 

Monday, October 21, 2013

Lost & Found

Just received this email.  If you were missing your vibrator, it has been found.

Sent: Monday, October 21, 2013 4:31 PM
To: Everybody
Subject: Lost item

An electronic device was found in our parking lot this afternoon.  In order to claim it, you will need to describe to me what the make, model and type of device it is.