Doesn't Anyone Understand My Sarcasm?

I got this forward entitled Zen Sarcasm and I got a real hoot holler out of a few of them, so I'm posting them here. Two of them remind me of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy which I really miss. Actually I just miss when SNL was actually entertaining. Hope everyone enjoys this rainy day - just think, your lawn needs it. Stay tuned for the next installment of Dude, WTF when I engage all my readers with a story of how I found a BEE (Yes, you read it right) in my Chinese Food yesterday.

1. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
2. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
3. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
4. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
5. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
6. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.