Monday, May 23, 2005

Blast that George Lucas

So the day we were all waiting three years to arrive has come and gone, and can I just say one thing? I want some more!

I went to see Star Wars Episode III on Wednesday. Since I'm a loser I went at noon and again at 7:45 p.m. It's all good people, it's all good. It's not like I called in to work, it was a planned day off. I baked my cookies, changed up my purse to allow for smuggling, got the gatorade through the door (along with a nice box of Jr. Mints.) All was right with the world. The movie starts and I'm clapping - clapping like a little kid in a toy store. Through the whole movie I was like dude, no way. At one point my mouth was hanging open and in my head I was going "No f-n way!" It was THAT good. I left the theatre thinking how it was so cool all my questions were answered and how this movie had SO much stuff in it compared to the first two. Except now I have some questions that need answering - and I don't want to write too much in case you didn't see it yet. However, if you do fall into that category and are reading this, come on, shit or get off the pot, it's been up for five days now!

1. What exactly went on in the past few years that Anakin got that scar above and below his eye?
2. Why the long hair? I thought there was a Jedi rule about being well-kept. They got rules about everything else for crying out loud!
3. OK so Padme and Anakin were married in secret. But NO one noticed that they seemed to be living in the same "house" and sleeping in the same bed? WTF! They are surrounded by Jedi! Are the Jedi's blind or something? Good god.
4. How come in the previews they show Darth Vader being revealed and his arms are strapped in near his shoulders, but in the movie they are strapped in by his sides?
5. Jesus H, what are Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru doing on that moisture farm that they aged so damned much from Episode III to Episode IV? and finally...
6. And where the f was that rat bastard that Schmi married in Episode II? I didn't see him toting his ass out on his little hover wheelchair to greet young Luke! Lazy bastard didn't even have to walk.

Any assistance in answering these questions would be appreciated.

In closing, I would like to say I enjoyed the movie, and I was sad when it ended. I do however thing George should giddy that shit back up and start working on Episode 7, but I bet he's too busy thinking up Ewok songs...

Nub Nub to all and to all a good night!


Some guy in IS said...

1. He got cut by something. Maybe a battle droid blew up in front of him.

2. Hello? Qui-Gon anyone? Hippie. Hygiene matters not. Judge me by my smell, do you?

3. Anakin sneaks off. Probably tells Obi-wan he's going to meditate or save kittens or something.

4. I didn't even notice. I was just hoping Lucas would dub in a better angry yell for the DVD.

5. Let's say they're mid-twenties. 18-20 years go by. It's a hard life out there on the dunes. I guess blue milk doesn't do a body good.

6. Dead.

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