Friday, May 02, 2014

Sage Advice: Try not to be an A-hole

Wanna know what chaps my ass? I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Jesus, Lori, what doesn’t chap your ass?” I mean, there’s a hole with no bottom.  But I find I’m always changing. What bothered me two years ago might not bother me now. But some things don't go away. Like, for instance, when people are assholes for no damned reason.

The other day I left a box in the lobby and said "I'll be right back, I have to send this out, but not until I get the mail." AKA: just leave the box, I'll be back.  

The response I got was "So?" 

So what the hell do I do with that comment? 

What I WANTED to say was "So don't touch it douchebag," or "Who the eff do you think you are?" Or maybe "If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would have farted."

What I said was "OK, see ya later!"

The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. I didn't walk up and say "Hey asshole, I'm leaving this box here" or "Yo dickcheese, don't touch this." I simply said what I was doing, cause if I hadn't, this person would have said "Uh, did ya want me ta do sumthin' with this?"  

So I ask you. What the hell is wrong with people? I know, I know, there's another hole with no bottom. But really, is life that bad that you have to be a dickbag for no reason? (Please note, if any dickbags out there are reading this, comments are welcome, as I'm wondering WHY you act like a dickbag.) If your life is that bad, try to change it. If you can't, I'm sorry. But don't take your shit out on me.  I'm not being an ASSHOLE to you, so if you could return the favor, that would be great.

On that bright note, have a great weekend, kids!

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