Go Get that Job!

We've all been there.  You see a job you want, and you score an interview.  You research the company, you take your suit to the dry cleaner and you begin anticipating what questions will be asked. But don't forget - interviewers want YOU to ask about them! When they say "do you have any questions," don't sit there like a fool! Take these suggestions for what you can ask that will surely land you the job.

1. How much vacation time is given?
2. What about sick time?
3. How soon can I use a sick day?
4. How long do I have to work before I go out on disability?
5. What is your policy on bringing pets to work?
6. Are there advances on paychecks?
7. How tight is inventory controlled?
8. Will I be in charge of ordering my own Sharpies?
9. Does the office have cameras near the supply closet?
10. Does this job cover WiFi at my home?
11. Is coffee included?
12. Do you have jean Monday through Friday?
13. How is the food in the cafeteria?
14. Do they have good inventory control?
15. Do you have covered parking?
16. Why not? Don't you know who I am? 
17. Do they have timeclocks here?
18. And what's the policy on tardiness?
19. How much time is considered "too much" time on Twitter?

I'm telling you people, it's better to go in prepared than be sitting there racking the ol' noodle for questions. You use my tips and the job of your dream will be ours. Good luck, and God speed!