Boneless Chuck

So I was reading through some old West Seneca Bees (props for saving them Marcy!) and I usually don't read the Police Blotter but the headline caught my attention.

Chuck Roast Put in Pants

In BOLD!

It seems "on Friday, October 28, 2005, a white male suspect in his forties left the Wegmans store on Orchard Park Road wiht a boneless chuck roast in his pants."

Several questions have arisen in my mind.

1. Why would you put Chuck Roast Put in Pants as the title? I thought about it and realized they were smart for doing it, as it got me to read more in the blotter. But still. Have some dignity people.

2. Why would you put a chuck roast in your pants. It was in October, which would be fine time to wear a coat. Do you really want to put a package of meat, which could leak, in your pants?

3. How the hell did these workers know it was boneless? Were they that close to this man? Or did they just go over to meat and note there was a boneless chuck missing, as opposed to a bone-in chuck? Couldn't they have just said "chuck roast" and left out the boneless part? It just brings up way too many questions.

There you have it. My excitement for yesterday (besides the Blender lists and Bono's haircut.)