Monday, January 10, 2011

The Difference Between Me and Normal People

I just got an email from a friend who told me a story of how she rushed and rushed to finish a baby blanket for a shower for her sister-in-law. I actually saw her knitting the thing out in public on a Monday afternoon, because she needed it for the following Sunday. In my head I was thinking "Oh child, I would have just bought her a boppie pillow and a book," cause that's me. Cause we all know how things go when it comes to me and finishing projects, especially projects that are "crafty."

In any case, she finished, practically giving herself Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in the process. The blanket was finalized at midnight the night before the shower. Fast forward to the actual shower, when the mother-to-be opened her gift, pulled the blanket out, announced "blanket," then continued to go through the box of items to list what was inside. My friend, who is nice, smiled and in her head was like "WTF WTF WTF WTF."

And this is where we get to the difference between me and her.

Cause if that was me who had hauled ass for the past three weeks to get it done, and had stayed up til midnight sewing something, then had to wrap the frigging thing, this is what would have happened.

I would have stood up and yelled "I made that bitches!"

Then I would be like "pass it around slut, I want everyone to see my handywork!"

Cause that's just how I roll.

Now to be fair, if there were elderly people present, I would have just said "I made that." But I sure as hell would have been like "pass it around, everyone gets a feel!"

Good thing we know this will never happen, because I took knitting, but it never took to me. And we all know what happens when I try to latch hook things. Six years later those things go in the trash. Don't even get me started on needlepoint...

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