Today is the last day of school. I'm so
sad. (Said NO ONE EVER).
I know you are thinking that Baby J and Stinky D are the
most excited people in the Allan house now that we have arrived at the last day
of school.
You'd be wrong.
The most excited person in the house is yours truly. And
I'll tell you why. I get a break from being Attila the Hun for a few weeks.
Here is a list of questions (and usual answers) that I have
asked all year, but won't have to ask for the next 73 days.
- Is your homework done? (Answer is always yes, even when the truth is no.)
- Did you practice your instrument? (Answer is always no, followed with an excuse mumbled at an inaudible level.)
- Do you have your gym clothes? (Yes, yes, a resounding yes. We always have gym clothes! Gym is easy and fun! Note: If you are J, you have the clothes, but don't have sneakers on gym days, so you end up in shorts, a t-shirt and fake Ugg boots.)
- Did you study for your ____ test? (Answer is usually yes, even if the truth is no, except when the answer is "I forgot my stuff to study" - of course at a noise level only dogs can hear.)
- Did you read for 20 minutes? (Again, yes. Did they really? Nope.)
- Do you have your band case? (Sometimes.)
- Did you pack a lunch? (Ohh...I forgot.)
- Do you have your lunch? (Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me.)
- Do you have your project/book report packed? (Yup.)
- Did you hand your project/book report in? (I forgot)
- Did you bring your gym clothes home? (Ohh...I forgot. Me: That's OK, not my smelly locker.)
- Did you bring your gym clothes home to hang up? (This is on swim days only. Answer is always no, which leads me to wonder how long it takes for mold to start growing in a bag of wet swim trunks and towel in a dark locker).
- Did you ask your teacher if you could do extra credit? (Answer varies. Usually it's "I forgot," but they have been known to throw in a "She was at a meeting," or "He was grading assessments," or "She had a wedding to go to and is off til next week." That one was my favorite)
- Did you hand in your permission slip? (Yup! IT'S FOR A FIELD TRIP OF COURSE THEY DID!!!!!!)
- Did you get a form for school pictures? (Oh yeah, I think we did. I can't find it.)
- Do you have your track stuff? (Yup. Of course he does - he wears the same thing five days in a row. It could walk around by itself by Friday.)
- What time is your band concert? (Answer varies. It is usually "Umm...I'm not sure." On occasion I get "It's at 7:30, but Mrs. ___ wants us there at 6. To that I respond "Well Mrs. ___ is out of her god damned mind! I gotta cook dinner and I don't get home til 5:30, what does she propose I do? " My return question yields no response, just blank stares.)
I'm FREE!
I'm FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!
